Thursday, September 4, 2008


Philosophies was originally written in the summer of 2001. I may be adding to this one later.

#1 Inner-Onion Theory – I live every moment I can as an inner-onion. I have stripped away the protective outer layers of my spirit to expose my core being. I want to be the person I am at my core to show through. At my core, I am love. I want to be accepting of anyone, but it is not unconditional. The other person must, at some time, have exposed himself or herself to me. I dislike polite, uniform, and pat questions and answers. Those exchanges take place when two people begin conversation. I look forward to the stuff after those exchanges. I have exposed my dragon heart; the heart that beats to love others. It is through that heart that I can also be struck down. When I leave myself so open and vulnerable, I occasionally become hurt. I try to read people through their words & actions. People are so ready to squelch these deep emotions. I am ready to feed them. Deep emotions make people so uncomfortable; they make me happy to be alive.

#2 Looking for a good quality in every individual – I need to find something, some quality which make each individual special. Even the people who ridicule & roll their eyes at me, I need to find something that I can like in their personality. Each of us has the capacity to harbor any emotion or characteristic. It is up to us, each one of us, to decide which qualities we want to incorporate & which we will discard. When I was young & still developing my own personality, I recall trying different personalities on like a new coat. I consciously watched other girls & boys; then thought I like the way she is outgoing, the way she takes charge, the way she leads, the way she follows, the way she laughs, the way he is accepting of everyone, the way he is definite about his preferences. I tried each quality on, discarded some, and stored others away for a time I knew I would use them. I also remember deciding what my priorities were, and then filtering every decision through my list of priorities. I talked many years ago with a mother of a teenage friend about these things. She acted very young for her middle age. She had adopted children late in life, while in her forties. She was now in her late fifties w/ three teenagers. We discussed standards & priorities & what I felt would make a marriage work. She gently confided in me that times change, marriages grow, they ebb & flow, and to survive these changes in feelings & priorities, we need to remain flexible & remember the reason we chose one another. Marriages do change; they are alive. They do not remain stagnant. They need attention & flexibility, as does each person. We are not the same as we were when we committed to be together. We must always look for new reasons to love one another and be appreciative of the small moments. This philosophy applies to all relationships.

#3 1. If I don’t get to know seriously, intimately, and deeply the people in my life, I am wasting my minutes. We are only given each minute, one minute at a time. I want every encounter w/ you to be precious. It doesn’t always have to be intense, but it does have to be real.
2. Whatever experience anyone has had, it is worth having lived. A tortured life, the worst possible life is still worth having lived.
3. You can’t make points in next life by doing busy work in this life. Busy work wastes minutes.
4. I want to explain the onion theory & I want to take you to a place to show you how I live every minute of every day as an inner onion.
5. I am not broken. I do not need fixed. I work very hard every day to be devoted, dedicated, and loving. I don't really like it when people say they are glad I've gotten "passed it", meaning my past. I do not want to move passed my past. Those experiences have taught me so much. They are a part of me and of my spirit. I treasure all my experiences because they all lead me to my Savior, Jesus Christ and to His gospel. I'm thankful everyday for that!!

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